Às vezes tenho minhas fases de silêncio, e parece que quanto mais amadureço mais essa fase silenciosa se estende. Não importa como, mas chega uma hora que você aprende que o silêncio é muitas vezes o melhor a ser dito, ou simplesmente você se cansa de tudo e resolve calar.

Disse pra mim. Nenhum pio. Não vou falar nada. Já que sou tão imprópria, inadequada, boba. Já que nunca basto e se tento me excedo. Já que não sei o que deveria ou exagero em querer saber o que não devo. Nunca entendo exatamente, nunca chego lá, nunca sou verdadeiramente aceita pela exigência propositalmente inalcançável. Meu riso incomoda. Meu choro mais ainda. Minha ajuda é pouca. Meu carinho é pena. Meu dengo é cobrança. Minha saudade é prisão. Minha preocupação chatice. Minha insegurança problema meu. Meu amor é demais. Minha agressividade insuportável. Meus elogios causam solidão. Minhas constatações boas matam o amor. As ruins matam o resto todo. Minhas críticas causam coisas terríveis. Minhas palavras cuidadas incomodam. Minhas palavras jogadas, mais ainda. Minhas opiniões sempre se alongam e cansam. Minhas histórias acabam sempre no egocentrismo ou preconceito. Meu sem fim dá logo vontade de encurtar. Minha construção, desconstrói. Meus convites quase nunca agradam. Meus pedidos sempre desagradam.

Sempre gostei de ler coisas de Tati Bernardi, Fernanda Mello, Rani Ghazzaoui, Bruna Sion pra ver que sou como todas as mulheres, e pra entender que eu sou mais prática do que imagino ser. Geralmente me encontro em algum trechos delas.

Dessa vez, Tati Bernardi se superou. Nunca um texto disse tanto em um momento tão exato da minha vida.

24 Responses to “…”

  1. LeAnDrO Says:

    Pois é!

    Silêncio tu sabes, não é comigo… Sou um cara inquieto… E silêncio faz mal pra mim…
    E outra, no silêncio que acaba tendo um encontro consigo!

  2. Bruna Sion Says:

    Sua liiinda…
    …e eu sempre gostei de ler Iza Freitas…
    Saudade, sempre.
    Beijos e obrigada.

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