Constatando-me

No domingo passado, 13/03, uma amiga minha que mora nos Estados Unidos; passou aqui em casa para nos vermos! Veio ela, os pais e o filho dela de um ano.

 

Foi um momento delicioso, porque eu a conheço desde que tenho 13 anos de idade. Estou prestes a fazer 30 anos, e aí a gente vê que tem história pra caramba nessa amizade aí. E tem mesmo, todas elas muito gostosas de lembrar!

 

Não é sempre que a vejo, e pra falar a verdade nossa amizade foi toda construída fora da internet e por isso não temos lá muito costume de papear no MSN ou seja lá o que for! Geralmente é tudo muito de passagem, só pra ter certeza que está tudo bem com uma e com a outra.

 

Em fevereiro, reencontrei no Rio de Janeiro, uma amiga que conheço desde os meus 11 anos de idade. Olha aí mais quanto tempo de amizade! E o reencontro se deu como se nos vessemos quase todos os dias, ou pelo menos uma vez por mês! E acredite, não é o que acontece.

 

Nos vemos quase de quatro em quatro anos e sempre de surpresa. Nos esbarramos em algum barzinho da cidade, ou até mesmo em formatura; uma sem saber que a outra iria! Mas todo encontro, sempre muito afetuoso e  divertido! Todos com aquela vontade de ter mais tempo, mais papo, mais tudo aquilo que quase nunca se tem na hora!

 

Dessa vez, o reencontro no Rio de Janeiro foi programado. Começou no facebook e acabou em uma deliciosa noite de conversa no restaurante Outback. E o mais gostoso de tudo, foi sentir que toda aquela intimidade e sintonia; não mudaram nada desde aquela época.

 

Nesse último final de semana, encontrei um amigo que já passamos por muitas coisas loucas e que já me fizeram ter certeza que nunca mais seríamos o que somos hoje. Estar na companhia desse amigo é sempre muito gratificante, pelo simples fato de poder sentir que com todas as ventanias que já enfrentamos; acabamos sempre conseguindo que a brisa suave sopre entre nós.

 

E o meu maior orgulho é esse; saber que mantenho contato com os amigos de ontem, hoje e sempre! Sem perder o jeito, sabe? Posso dizer que tudo flui bem desde os amigos de quando eu tinha 10, 11 anos, até os de hoje em dia!! Os que conheci no colegial, na rua, na faculdade, na internet, tudo!!!

 

E o mais legal, é que nunca cataloguei amigos. Se deixar eu misturo tudo no caldeirão e deixo a coisa ferver!!! Porque eu gosto mesmo é de ter todas as pessoas ao meu redor. Não importa onde e como nos conhecemos, mas sim a amizade que nutrimos.

 

Se tem uma coisa que me faz sorrir e sofrer, é algo que envolva a amizade. Eu sou uma pessoa que posso ter o defeito que for, pode me xingar do que quiser nessa vida! Mas se tem algo que eu sou e que eu realmente valorizo; é o termo AMIGO!!

 

E ao mesmo tempo em que tenho alguns momentos maravilhosos como esses reencontros com pessoas tão queridas, eu também acabo sofrendo e entrando em conflito com a visão dos outros sobre a tal da amizade.

 

Já fui uma pessoa 8 ou 80 com relação a amizades, ou era realmente amigo naqueles padrões que eu considerava, ou então não era ninguém na minha vida de menina blasé. Pra mim não servia (e na verdade ainda é difícil) amizades que eu considerava pela metade! Eu queria era o pacto de sangue!

 

Hoje em dia melhorei muito, eu confesso, mas ainda tenho lá os meus conflitos internos; que acabei por não expor mais pra não entrar em discussões desnecessárias e sem muita solução. Hoje prefiro acreditar que do mesmo jeito que preciso me adaptar ao próximo, preciso me adaptar a mim mesma. Saber que algumas coisas irão me machucar, devido às minhas expectativas e minhas formas de sentir.

 

Ainda acho absurdo quando apenas um lado rega a amizade. Ainda acho absurdo quando ouço expressões de “eu sumo e reapareço” (acho conveniente demais!). Ainda acho absurdo quando um lado só fala, e um lado só escuta. Ainda acho absurdo quando há “esforço” só de um lado. Ainda acho absurdo quando um lado é mais incondicional que o outro.

 

Mas, aprendi que somos responsáveis mesmo por aquilo que cativamos. E que ninguém tem direito de cobrar aquilo que nasceu pra ser voluntário, espontâneo. E que temos que ser o que somos e arcar com as conseqüências, cedo ou tarde.

 

E mesmo com todas as coisas que eu já aprendi, e que sei que ainda vou aprender muito, eu vou continuar sempre sendo fiel aquilo que eu acredito.

54 Responses to “Constatando-me”

  1. @mariana_nas Says:

    É tão bom quando a gente tem amigos assim… amigos pra vida toda!

  2. Clarissa Says:

    Em fevereiro conheci uma amiga virtual com quem converso há 12 anos!
    Foi liiiiiiindo, uma tarde/noite no shopping, tomamos sorvete, fomos em loja de lingerie, ao cinema, fofocamos e terminamos no Burguer King!
    Dia inesquecível, amizade inesquecível!!!
    Falta eu e vc, né???

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  4. Karowara Antunes Da Silva Says:

    Oi eu tenho o mesmo problema da Belinha e minha mãe gostaria de fazer amizade com você, para trocar informações. beijos

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